11/21/19

How badly do you want to achieve your goals? (You may need to learn from a nincompoop.)

I have а mini “anniversary”! About month аgо I made a leap out of the “corporate” and into “freedom”. 

I feel acutely alive and excited. There are so many opportunities. I am bursting with creative ideas. I can spend time with my children. 

And I am *slightly* freaking out! I feel like a toddler who is learning to walk for the first time. There is very little certainty in this process and quite a bit of doubt. So it brings stuff up. For sure.

For instance, now I am dealing with the lightness of my Outlook inbox. What’s this?

Have you ever said something like “Oh, I have 600 emails in my inbox,” with a sigh and secret pride? This was a confirmation that you were needed. 

In corporate, we base our self-worth on the amount of stimulation we receive. And it is true, potentially you can be of service to up to 600 people. So the absence of a clogged inbox (yet) makes me question my value.

Being a coach, I know that doubt is a faithful companion of any growth, a sign of getting out of the comfort zone. This is the perfect opportunity to walk my talk and practice my own tools, right?

Being “Forrest-Gumpy.”

This is one of my favorite movies. The wisdom of this technically simpleton guy is quite remarkable. 

Mama always said "Life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get?"

And who achieved the most in the end?

I used to mistake my emotional reactions to things for signs of intelligence and caring but then I figured that it was closer to being neurotic with benefits questionable at best. It gets us wrapped up in our stories and interferes with making a positive change. I still get emotional reactions, because I am human (and possibly a bit neurotic :)), but awareness helps a lot! 

Accept things as they are, try to judge them less. Sounds simple enough?

You can practice being “Forrest-Gumpy” anytime you get a new task, learn a new skill, or even when a conflict with a colleague makes you question yourself.

  • Be mindful of your “shoulds” and your reactions to them. At this stage, I should have my own portfolio of clients, lead a team, generate $XXX of new business, close a deal from scratch... Grrrr..! This is your inner critic talking, not you. Goal-setting is good. Shoulds - not so much!
  • Check how realistic are your expectations that you judge yourself against. (For me, having a full portfolio of clients after a month probably not).
  • Debrief.  Put your emotions aside and ask yourself what worked, what didn’t work and what will I do differently next time (This helps you moving forward).
  • Have compassion and patience with yourself and know your limit. When the toddler had enough, she goes on all fours and no one will convince to attempt one more step. She will try walking again tomorrow.
  • Reflect on your achievements, regardless of their magnitude. When trying something new, any achievement counts. If your toddler made 5 new steps today you would not get upset that she did not do 10, right?
  • Take good care of yourself. There is more required from you now, so you need to rebuild your resources. Do things that help you recharge: spend time with friends, exercise, dance, sleep, whatever it is.

Another thing that helps a lot is having support and accountability. Round up some friends or family to do this for you, if they don’t have too much on their place. Or get a coach! This is what I am doing as well.

If you want to support my confidence by boosting my inbox, drop me a line to let me know how this resonates with you. (A shameless plug ;))


Send me an email and let me know your thoughts or book a free consultation using this link.

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Sveta Parilova is a career and life coach who partners up with mid-career professionals to help them get rekindled and renewed about their work/career, so that they feel less stressed and more joyful at work and at home. She is passionate about supporting people in their search for purpose and meaning in their work and life, and is humbled and honored to be part of their journey to a more joyful self. Click here to schedule a Complimentary Discovery Session and learn more!

 

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Svetlana Parilova
Thrive Network International, LLC